


DAVE: JUST BE COOL ABOUT THIS

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Self-cest, Time-fuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-05
Updated: 2011-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:34:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Dave Strider.  Ordinarily you are one cool motherfucker (if you do say so yourself), but you aren't really sure there is any way to just "be cool" about this situation.  This is a situation you were never prepared for.  No amount of Bro's teachings on irony or strifing or dropping sick beats could have ever prepared you for what is going on right fucking now.</p><p>(Written in response to <a href="http://homesmut.livejournal.com/7440.html?thread=8508944#t8508944">this kink meme prompt</a>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	DAVE: JUST BE COOL ABOUT THIS

** > DAVE: JUST BE COOL ABOUT THIS**

You are Dave Strider. Ordinarily you are one cool motherfucker (if you do say so yourself), but you aren't really sure there is any way to just "be cool" about this situation. This is a situation you were never prepared for. No amount of Bro's teachings on irony or strifing or dropping sick beats could have ever prepared you for what is going on right fucking now.

"Yo, TZ, you did not just say that." Your shades have slipped down the bridge of your nose, just a little. You push them back up, hoping the troll girl currently sprawled on top of you didn't notice. The last thing you want to do is give her an excuse to try to lick your eyeballs.

Terezi grins, and it's like a shark's grin. One hand is curled at the nape of your neck, and the other is tracing lazy patterns with her claws on your chest. She hasn't drawn blood yet, but you're pretty sure it's still on the table. "Oh, come on, Coolkid. It'll be fun." The shark grin gets wider. You can count all of her fangs, you are sure of it. You shift uncomfortably because god _damn_ it you are a Strider and you should be cool about this and not getting kind of hard at the predatory way she's observing you. The hand that's running over your chest drifts lower and her mouth suddenly goes for one of your earlobes. You can feel her sharp little teeth nipping at it, and your cock twitches in response. Terezi giggles.

"Please. I'll make it worth your while." She pauses and drags her tongue lasciviously along your jawline. Oh god, how you have wondered about her tongue, ever since she told you that she sees the world through tasting colors. "Both of you."

 ** > DAVE: RESIST TEREZI**

Oh, fuck. You have to resist. There is no way you can give in to such a fucked up request from such a fucked up broad. No way. Except, oh fuck, all of the sudden there you are right in front of yourself shirtless and flushed and now Terezi is cackling, straight up _cackling_. You lock eyes with yourself because there is only one question that comes to your mind at this very second. You're pretty sure you know the answer, since you see your future self, but you have to ask it anyway.  "Is it worth our while, bro?"

Future you smirks a little. "You have no idea, man. It is so good, I had to go back in time so I could do it again."

The troll resumes her unnervingly pointy smile. "Why thank you." She slides off of you, dragging her claws over your skin as she does so and making you-- both of you-- shiver. "Well, what are you waiting for? You have to deliver before I can reward either of you."

Future you needs no more prompting.

 ** > DAVE: MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN**

You're not really sure how to do that. Despite the endless hours of entertainment that gay chicken with John has provided, you're not really that gay, nor do you really know the first thing about messing around with another dude. That doesn't seem to matter, though, since future you is taking the initiative. He pushes you back and straddles you, and you can feel his boner pressing against yours through both pairs of your pants. He leans in, sinks his teeth into the flesh right where the line of your neck meets the muscles of your shoulder, elicits a low grown from your throat. Your hips buck against him in response.

He chuckles; you hear him whisper, "Now you need to scratch my back. Drives TZ fucking nuts when it's rough." As if this isn't the first time this has happened. You let that slide, though, because future you knows all of your secret buttons, and he's pushing them as hard as he can. Besides, the thought of Terezi getting off watching you draw lines in your own back is suddenly hotter than the roof of your Bro's apartment in the middle of summer. You bring your hands up and dig your nails into his back and drag them down until you run out of skin. He stops working on your nipple to arch into your touch, and you can't help but wonder at the fact that, okay, yeah, this is evidently not just a button Terezi has, but that's okay because you can hear and appreciative purr from in her direction.

You think you're getting the hang of this, so you grab future you's hips and execute a pretty fucking cool maneuver so that you're straddling him now. Since Terezi likes it when it's rough, you decide that you're going to give her the best goddamn show she's ever witnessed. You grind yourself against future you while simultaneously digging your nails into the sensitive area right near his hip bones and sucking on a spot just underneath where his jaw and neck come together. He uses a free hand to make a fist in your hair and pull it, which is a new sensation and you weren't expecting it to feel good but it definitely does and oh holy god fuck your elbows go wiggly when you realize that future you is returning your earlier favor by clawing the shit out of your backside. There is no fucking way it is legal for something like that to feel so good and you can't tell if the noises you're hearing are coming from you or future you or Terezi and you really don't give a fuck.

 ** > DAVE: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER**

Well, you haven't just collapsed in a puddle of goo, so this should be relatively simple. You'll just start a counter-offensive on future you's throat, because that's always been one of your biggest erogenous zones (at least up until like five seconds ago). You are about to follow through on this when you feel warm breath on your back where future you did his thing. Out of the corner of your eye you can see that Terezi is no longer watching from the side-lines. "Dave," Terezi begins, her voice husky and full of some really fucking sexy want, "are you bleeding?" Time seems to stop of its own accord as you feel the blind troll draw in a long breath. "You know red is my favorite color, right?"

Then you feel her press her mouth to one of the scratches and flick her tongue lightly across it. The electric jolt that one contact sends up your spine is fucking obscene. Terezi giggles at your reaction and starts tasting your skin in slow, languorous licks along each and every line your future self left. You're having trouble breathing; it's all you can do to get the air in your lungs, you're shuddering so hard.

And then your future self decides to make it a hundred and fifty times worse by unbuttoning your fly and grabbing your dick.

 ** > DAVE: GET DOUBLE-TEAMED**

You're already doing that. Getting double-teamed by your girlfriend and your future self is a thing that is already happening and it is actually way hotter than you think it has any fucking right to be. Future you knows exactly how you like it, switching off between long, slow strokes and quick jerks to keep things interesting, while Terezi has started leaving teeth marks all over you. There's a moment where you can see this weird look on future you's face as he's working your shaft. He's looking over your shoulder, you assume at Terezi, who sounds like she is just having the time of her life. You realize with a start that you would be and fuck an army of yourself if she asked because that's how hot listening to her and getting a handjob from yourself is right now.

It's not much longer before you feel your stomach tightening and you realize you're about to come. The pathetic mewling sounds coming from your throat are downright shameful and are the kind of thing a cool motherfucker like yourself would never even think about making, but oh godddd it feels so good. You collapse in a decidedly uncool heap on top of your future self, not even caring about the mess you fall down in. You don't even care when Terezi rolls you off of yourself and settles you off to the side. You are down for the count, and it is possibly the most uncool thing you have ever done. And you are okay with that.

 **DAVE: BE THE OTHER GUY**

You are now Dave Strider from the future and you have a raging hard-on and a girlfriend with a very skilled tongue.

 **DAVE: RECEIVE REWARD**

"You're gonna have to reward past me later," you tell a very hot-and-bothered-looking Terezi. "I won't be up for a bit. I didn't even know I'd like most of the shit that just happened."

Terezi quirks an eyebrow at you. "And what makes you think _either_ of you are getting a reward, hmm?" She's grinning again and trailing her claws up and down your side. You are not the you she first suggested this idea to, though. You're a fucking veteran at this shit, so you're able to suppress the delicious things her touch is doing to your body and maintain that fucking smooth exterior.

You lean up and put your mouth right next to her ear. "Because," you say, your voice rough and raw, "if you don't, you're never gonna know what it's like to do it with three of me at once."

Terezi grins ear-to-fucking-ear, slithers down your body, unbuttons your pants, and gives you the most delectable tongue lashing ever in the whole fucking history of sexual innuendo.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Homestuck fic, my first actual smut fic, and my first prompt fill. XD;


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